Self Portrait

2019, oil on linen, 67 x 51 cm

I set myself the challenge of trying to paint a nice self portrait. I have always found this enormously difficult. To look myself squarely in the eye and not let the overwhelming internal dialogue of self criticism take hold. But it is time to accept my truth. The experiences I had as a young girl left scars of worthlessness, silence and fear.

I have spent many years trying to cope with a deep seated feeling of being flawed. I found this damaged canvas in my studio. I have left the flawed canvas revealed. I have not erased the brown sketching lines. Areas of the painting have not been perfected, they remain in a raw under-painted state.

My process is laid bare
As I move forward
To paint myself kindly.